I LIEK NOODELS!!
by Just Passing Through
Summary: MORE AWFULNESS! Lotsa death, so the rating had to change.
1. Noodels!

I LIEK NOODELS!!!  
  
JPT'S BRILLIANT STORY!!  
  
ONE DAY I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET, OKAY! THEN I SAW ZIM AND I WAS LIKE "WOW ITS ZIM!" AND ZIM LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "HOW DO YOU KNOW ME PITIFUL EARTH CREATURE?!" AND I SAID "YOUR A SHOW DUDE, I WATCH IT EVERY FRIDAY AND LOOK! I HAVE MAGICAL EARWAX! BEWARE MY FEARSOME EARS!" AND ZIM WAS ALL SCARED AND TRIED TO GET AWAY BUT I FOLLOWED HIM YELLING "GIMME YOUR AUTOGRAPH!!!"  
  
Then some other stuff happened... and..  
  
"I LOVE YOU ZIM!!!!" GAZ SIGHED. "I LUV YOU TO GAZ YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!" "NOOO!" DIB YELLED AND THEN HE FELL IN A PIT AND ZIM AND GAZ LAUGHED AT HIM. I HELPED HIM OUT AND WE PLOTTED SOME DOOM!  
  
and more stuff happened and....  
  
"I'LL LEAVE NOW YOU PITIFUL EARTH CREATURES! ZIM YELLED. 'BUT I'LL BE BACK! I LUUUUVE YOU GAZ! and i love you too dib but i won't admit it I'LL BE BAAAAAAACK!!!"  
  
EARTH IS SAFE THANKS TO THE DYNAMIC DUO: JPT AND DIB!! YAY US!! SOO HOW OLD ARE ALL YOU GIRLS AGAIN???! 


	2. HAMSTERSPHERE AWAAAAY!

More? WTF... you want MORE??! Well... okay...  
  
WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY, "YOU SHOULD BE A WRITER!"? I AM A WRITER! I AM WRITING THIS AND YOU ARE READING IT, THAT MAKES ME A WRITER! AND YOU A READER!  
  
JPT MET THIS PRETTY GIRL AND THEY HIT IT OFF. THEY HAD DINNER AND THEN THEY WENT UP TO HIS APARTMENT AND DID THINGS COUPLES DO WHEN THEY ARE ALONE!!!  
  
Angry reader: What does that have to do with Zim?!  
  
JPT: FOOL! JPT IS IN IT! (I LIKE MY INITIALS. "JAIYE PEA TEA." NOT PEE TEA!) THAT MAKES IT A ZIM FIC!!  
  
AR: But JPT is YOU! And you're not a Zim character! You're a... well I don't know what you are, but you're not in the show!  
  
JAIYE: I AM IN A FIC THAT INVOLVES ZIM! THAT MAKES ME A ZIM CHARACTER BY THE PROCESS OF INSERTION, WE SHOWED UP IN THE SAME WORLD!! SO I CAN SHOW UP IN OTHER STORIES BY MYSELF AND I'M STILL A ZIM CHARACTER! I COULD WRITE A STORY ABOUT ME GETTING A HAIRCUT AND IT WOULD STILL BE A ZIM FIC!!  
  
AR: But... oooh noo.. brain,... exploding arrgh!   
  
JAIYE: I HAVE HEAD EXPLODY! 


	3. So bad even *I'M* ashamed!

::sigh:: Trying to write more although this part will probably suck even more than the past two, and that's saying a lot.   
  
A DARK FUTURE!!!  
  
SOMEHOW ZIM HAD ALMOST CONQUERED THE EARTH EVEN THOUGH HE IS BASICALLY A MORON, AND GAZ JOINED HIM. DIB AND I BECAME OUTCASTS AND FOUGHT AGAINST HIS EVIL RULE. BUT THEN DIB GOT CAPTURED AND I WAS ALONE.  
  
Dib: How come I'm always the one that gets captured? No fair...  
  
JPT: because you suck I MEAN SHUT UP DIB YOU'RE LOCKED UP AND WE CAN'T SPEAK TO EACH OTHER!   
  
JPT THOUGHT: I WILL RESCUE DIB AND BRING ABOUT ZIM'S DOWNFALL! BUT FIRST I MUST PACK! SO I PACKED MY SUITCASE OF DOOM! AND IN IT WERE MY CLOTHES OF DOOM, AND MY TOOTHBRUSH OF DOOM, AND MY NOTEPAD OF DOOM, AND...  
  
Reader: why is everything "of doom"?  
  
JPT: MAGICALLY EVERYTHING BECOMES FUNNIER IF I ADD THE WORDS "OF DOOM." FOR INSTANCE YOU ARE THE REVIEWER OF DOOM!!!  
  
then lots of explosions happened!! And there was a gratuitous nude scene!!  
  
"WE MUST STOP ZIM!" DIB CRIED AND THEN HE FOUGHT ZIM AND ALMOST DIED BUT THEN HIS LOVE INTEREST SAVED HIM AND HE WENT ON TO WIN! AND IN THE MEANTIME I CALLED CHIEF QUIMBY ON MY COMPUTER WATCH!  
  
Reader: Why does this sound familiar...  
  
ZIM: I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, DIB!! NEXT TIIIIIME!!!  
  
JPT: AND REMEMBER, KIDS: DRUGS R BAD!! 


	4. THE BUMS DIE! PAINFULLY!

Before I go into Happy Noodle Boy mode, I want to let you all in on a little seeeeecret:  
  
This is a parody. A satire. IT'S NOT REAL. Most of my comments on this fic aren't real either. I pretend to be an insane flirt as part of the whole "insane internet newbie" ruse. So please do not take offense or get scared. I am already seeing someone who lives in my state and has never even heard of Jhonen Vasquez. Most of you have guessed this already, but I thought I'd make doubly sure before someone accuses me of being a pedophile.  
  
I originally wrote this so anyone who's suffered a not-so-nice review by me could get their much-deserved revenge. However it turned out rather popular. I think this will be the last chapter unless I am struck by divine (i.e., inspired by pot) inspiration. Reader reviews/praise/flames/threats are always welcome.  
  
=========  
WE WILL DESTROY NICK!!!  
  
JPT ARMED HIMSELF FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE B.U.M.'S! AND THERE WAS A KNOCK ON HIS DOOR!!  
  
It was two pretty girls. Sadly, they were not interested in dating him. "We hear you're after Nick. We're here to help." The one called Slayer said. Tyoria nodded.   
  
THEN THEY WENT TO ZIM'S HOUSE!  
  
"ZIM!" JPT YELLED! "WE'RE HERE TO KILL THE BUTT-UGLY MARTIANS! HELP!"  
  
"No!" Zim yelled. "Why should I care about human affairs?"  
  
"Please?" Tyoria asked.  
  
"No... well okay." So Zim joined up.  
  
WE RODE IN MY COOL MINIVAN AND LISTENED TO BLINK 182 CUZ THEY ROCK! AND EVERYONE SANG ALONG EVEN ZIM!! AND THEN WE GOT TO DIB'S HOUSE! AND DIB JOINED US! BUT DIB WAS A TEENAGER NOW AND HE LOOKED LIKE REALLY COOL AND STUFF!  
  
And then... we reached Nick studios. All was quiet until...  
  
SLAYER: THERE'S HERB SCANNEL!!!  
  
THEN THERE WAS CARNAGE AS SHE DECAPITATED HIM WITH HER HUGE EARRING! AND WE CHEERED! AND THEN WE SAW THE ROCKET POWER KIDS AND ZIM BLASTED THEM WITH SOME COOL ALIEN LAZER!  
  
"Major beefage, indeed," Zim smirked as he observed the smoking piles of human flesh.  
  
Dib tried to punch Spongebob but it didn't work very well, and we lost interest. BUT EVERYONE GASPED WHEN WE SAW THE MOST FEARED OF ALL TOONS:  
  
THE BUTT-UGLY MARTIANS! THEY LOOK AND SMELL LIKE BIG FAT UGLY BUTTS!!!  
  
THERE WAS CHAOS!! AND LOTS OF GOOKY STUFF! AND SLAYER ALMOST GOT HIT WITH THE BUTT-KICKING MODE BUT DIB SAVED HER AND THEN THEY HUGGED! AND WE KILLED THE BUTT UGLY MARTIANS SO BAD IT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY! AND THEN WE WENT HOME.  
  
The end! 


End file.
